And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
