Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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