I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
