3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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