You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
