Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm passing your future prison.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
