Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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