Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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