apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
