physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
