Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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