i would punch a child for taco bell
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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