i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
