I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
