I need help removing her.
Say something about gay babies.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
