you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
