I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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