She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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