I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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