She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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