you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
