mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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