she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
