No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
