I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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