She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
