you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
