Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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