i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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