do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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