I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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