I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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