i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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