...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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