Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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