This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
