How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
