You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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