..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I cockslap morals
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
