I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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