I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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