who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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