Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
