addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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