She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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