What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I came so hard my ears popped.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
