im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
