about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
