just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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