I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
